Some signs of what I call TRS, Toxic Relationship Syndrome:

Are you constantly demanding help from your partner, or asking for it with an implied expectation of "yes"? Do you get angry when eir answer is no? Your partner has eir own life. It is intertwined with yours already, sexually and/or emotionally; that doesn't imply that you own any more of eir time than ey freely offer. Especially if you are expending your money and energy to help others, you cannot expect your partner to then increase eir allotment of resources to make up for what you now lack due to your having given it to others.

Likewise, when you and your partner go somewhere, is ey free to leave whenever ey wish, or "must" they wait until you are ready? I mean, even by eirself; polyamory, where they may leave with another, is an extension of this. If the walk or ride home is dangerous, expensive, or otherwise likely to require both leaving at the same time, be ready to leave when your partner is ready, and the relationship will be smoother.

Do you make disparaging remarks about your partner's other love interests, or random people on the street? Knocking others doesn't make you any more attractive, in fact it might have the opposite affect. Look for the good in everybody, keep a buena onda (good vibe) in your conversation, and your beauty will radiate all the more.

I've probably been guilty of all of the above at some points in my life, particularly that last item. But these are all correctable behaviors; it's never too late to change.

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last updated 2013-01-10 21:06:47. served from tektonic